Choose your tier. Or don’t. We’ll still judge you.
Welcome to the most unnecessarily tiered membership system on the internet.
Each level unlocks a new dimension of confusion, commitment, and questionable decisions.
No refunds. No regrets. Just vibes.
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🟤 <span class=”membership-icon”>😐</span> I’m Just Browsing, Bro
You get nothing.
Not even a badge.
But we respect your passive energy.
System will occasionally squint at you.
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⚪ <span class=”membership-icon”>⭐</span> Mildly Invested Human
You clicked something. That’s effort.
Unlocks 3.5 motivational particles.
Includes one “You got this” per month.
Star icon included. You earned it.
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🟡 <span class=”membership-icon”>🧠</span> Overthinker Supreme
You read the FAQ twice.
You’re not sure why you joined, but you did.
Comes with a digital badge and a mental spiral.
Includes unlimited sighs and one existential meme.
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🔵 <span class=”membership-icon”>📜</span> Terms Reader… Maybe
You scrolled past the Terms & Conditions but felt guilty.
Unlocks access to features you won’t use.
System will nod respectfully when you log in.
Includes a monthly “Did you mean to click that?” alert.
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💎 <span class=”membership-icon”>🏆</span> Too Committed to Quit Now
You’ve gone too far.
Priority support from an AI who’s also tired.
You get a trophy. It’s digital. You can’t touch it.
Includes one “You’re doing great” in a robotic voice.
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🧨 <span class=”membership-icon”>🛒❓</span> Why Did You Pay for This?
All perks from all tiers.
Plus imaginary perks we made up just for you.
Personalized welcome message: “Bro… seriously?”
Lifetime membership to the club of questionable decisions.
🔓 How to Join
Click the button. Or don’t.
We’ll still be here, judging silently in pixelated green.